1. Wrong side of the pump, Jerk off
2. Merging onto the deathway
3. Tolls and mindless idiots
4. Ways to get people killed because your stupid
5. Use your blinker you inconsiderate asshole
6. Speeding?
7. Are you a left lane dick?
8. Weaving and getting nowhere
9. Why your even dumber with a cellphone
10. Accidents, flat tires, and flashing lights oh my.
11. Senior Citizens and driving retests
12. Why do so many people wave at me with their middle finger.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
Morons Driving in New Jersey (Your high beams are on asshole)
Your high beams are on asshole!
Ok folks I really shouldn’t have to mention high beams, but here we go. If you’re behind someone, you should not turn your high beams on and blind them…you stupid fuck! My eyes still work and I don’t really care to see first hand what the sun looks like in my rear view mirror, since I know it will be blinding me in my windshield in about 30 minutes. I can’t tell you the countless times this has happened and I can only guess that maybe my car has become invisible somehow and they drive right up my ass with the super highbeams from hell.It’s for this reason that I recommend you always have a 3 million candle power spot light on your passenger seat. You blind me, I’ll blind your stupid ass. Turn on the handheld battery operated sun and they weave out of control and like magic. They are no longer a blinding problem. It could be because they got the point, or because they are blinking like mad trying to see past the huge spots in their eyes.
Morons Driving in New Jersey (Early Morning Driving)
Early Morning Driving
So it’s early in the morning and you just started you lovely commute, constantly wondering if you will make it there alive since there are so many morons that should not be allowed to drive, especially at this hour. You’re tired and not quite running at 100% yet, and the idiots out there are running at even less and have no regard for you and I. Your going 45 in a 40MPH zone, here you will see that all the pinheads feel the need to go 60 behind you. I’m not quite sure if this is because the cops (at least in my town) are busy hanging out at the local convenience store sipping complimentary coffee and the pinheads know it, or maybe they are trying to see what radio station I’m listening to. In this situation a quick brake check may fix them. I suppose the best thing would be to move over and let them get by and put someone else’s life at risk, but where is the fun in that? This person behind you may also have a bad case of diarrhea shits and is trying to get to a bathroom, and not allowing them the opportunity to get by will only add to your fun.
So it’s early in the morning and you just started you lovely commute, constantly wondering if you will make it there alive since there are so many morons that should not be allowed to drive, especially at this hour. You’re tired and not quite running at 100% yet, and the idiots out there are running at even less and have no regard for you and I. Your going 45 in a 40MPH zone, here you will see that all the pinheads feel the need to go 60 behind you. I’m not quite sure if this is because the cops (at least in my town) are busy hanging out at the local convenience store sipping complimentary coffee and the pinheads know it, or maybe they are trying to see what radio station I’m listening to. In this situation a quick brake check may fix them. I suppose the best thing would be to move over and let them get by and put someone else’s life at risk, but where is the fun in that? This person behind you may also have a bad case of diarrhea shits and is trying to get to a bathroom, and not allowing them the opportunity to get by will only add to your fun.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Morons Driving in New Jersey (Sensible Starts)
Sensible Starts
Starting out in the morning can be quite difficult, since many of us are still a bit groggy when we get out to our cars. There are a few things that should be done before you start your journey to work. For most of us these are common sense, however, for many out there, common sense went out the window once you received your driver’s license.
Starting out in the morning can be quite difficult, since many of us are still a bit groggy when we get out to our cars. There are a few things that should be done before you start your journey to work. For most of us these are common sense, however, for many out there, common sense went out the window once you received your driver’s license.
Check your tires. No need to be inspector fucking gadget and check the tire pressure, just look around to see if it looks ok.
If you find leaves or debris on your windows, just take a minute to remove it. Driving at high speed in hopes that it will eventually blow it off is not considered removing the debris and makes you an asshole, and will probably help to cause an accident.
If you happen to live in an area with snow, and wake to find snow on your car, take the time to remove all the snow from all surfaces of your vehicle. I know this would be obvious to many, however, I have seen many morons that roll down a window and stick their head out like the family pet so they can see, while waiting for the snow to magically blow off of their vehicle. While doing this they inevitably cause some poor person (me) to drive through a mini snow storm behind them.
If you start your car and see huge amounts of smoke pouring out of your car, I can assure you that this is not the secret James Bond option in your car that has magically sprung to life. Get your car to a service shop ASAP. This James bond option will cause accidents when the other motorists behind you can’t see the car that is three inches in front of them.
Morons Driving in New Jersey
It's seems that people drive much worse now than I have ever seen in the past. I'm sure there are some valid reasons, so I figured I would post some comments/observations in an effort to help some realize how bad things can be driving here. So i will be posting some helpful hints for the idiots out there. Look for new entries as often I can find the time.
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